By James Reyome
05/03/2004
Way back in the day--this was some twenty years or so ago--it was reliably reported that my hero Joe Bob Briggs locked himself in his trailer house for several days and introduced himself to the wonderful world of movies on video. He didn't exactly give up on the drive-in, but his life was irrevocably changed. I kinda feel the same way having been indoctrinated into the even more wonderful world of the DVD. Mind you, we've had the DVD player several months, but it's only lately that the wonder that is DVD technology has become apparent, and it isnt that the picture and sound are of digital quality. Frankly, Im not even sure exactly what that means. But I do know the most important thing.
It's cheap.
Yeah, cheap, as in dirt cheap. This of course grabbed my attention right away. It should come as no surprise then that the first horror DVD collection that I found of interest was from Roger Corman, King of the Drive-In, and another hero of mine (by the by, O Great One, do you still have your engraved hubcap?). This set is from the (now discontinued, methinks alas) AMC Monsterfest Collection, and contains 2 DVDs, with two movies on each. The first has A Bucket Of Blood and The Little Shop Of Horrors, and the second features the original recycled sets masterpiece The Terror as well as The Wasp Woman. Amazingly, I found this at the local discount store that shall remain nameless but for a dead giveaway in the next paragraph in a cutout bin. Thats right, a cutout binfor the ludicrously low price of two for $10!
Astounding, no? Needless to say, I didnt stop there and dug through that stinkin bin, stacking discarded video limpers left and right to the dismay of the blue vesters till I found more treasure, which was two additional Monsterfest offerings. These are the "Cult Horror" collections, containing the following: The Atomic Brain, The Brain That Wouldn't Die, Carnival Of Souls, and Night Tide (very good, this one) on collection one, and Dementia 13 (yow! A Roger Corman production of a Francis Ford Coppola film), Frozen Alive, The Screaming Skull, and Jesse James Meets Frankensteins Daughter on collection two. No, I'm not making that last one up, really I'm not. Now so far, that's twelve movies on 6 DVDs. Add Christopher Lee and Peter Cushings unheralded but excellent Horror Express that my wife found at yet another outlet store for one measly dollar, and youve got my Movie Deal Of The Year, thirteen classic drive-in films for sixteen simoleons plus tax. I defy you to beat that at anything but a yard sale.
How could this possibly be a bad deal? The answer of course is it cant, but that's not to say there aren't a couple of gotchas. First, cramming more than one film onto a single DVD means no "special features" per se. A loud and vigorous big deal! and so what? to that. A fun old movie is special feature enough to me. Second, and more critical perhaps, is that it can mean that the overall quality of the finished product might suffer. While the films in these sets are noted as having been "digitally remastered," either the remastering isnt necessarily all that masterful or they're at times working from prints that are less than stellar. Speckles, hairs, oddball edits...they're the worst-case bits, as is the occasional muddy soundtrack. Now, film buffs will no doubt scream bloody murder at this, but for jes' plain folks like me, why, we dont care. My video copies of "Little Shop Of Horrors" and "The Raven" (Im still mining hopefully for that one) are showing some serious wear anyway from repeated plays, and "The Terror" was in bad shape when I got it (at a yard sale, if I remember correctly). Theoretically, DVDs can last forever if treated with care, so I can ignore the occasional bit of hair in the frame. Besides, it adds to the drive-in feeling.
So fire up that popcorn popper, dim the house lights, and if youre really looking to recreate those glorious days of yesteryear, why, light a bug coil. Youll catch a nice buzz if you dont die first. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: lighting a bug coil (if they even still exist) in your house is incredibly dangerous, not to mention unbelievably ignorant. It can cause brain damage, boils, warts, blindness, the plague, dengue fever, and conservative tendencies. Jim does not recommend or condone this kind of behavior and in fact will not stand for it in his trailer house. So there.