Persuasive Letter Exercise#1
11/01/2004

Following is a first draft of a persuasive letter.  The writer was angry when he wrote it, and as a result, made statements that are generally not found in effective business communications.  Furthermore, the letter is lacking crucial details.  Write a more effective draft of the letter, supplying details where needed.

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The Paper Street Soap Company
666 Paper Street
Baton Rouge, LA  70802

February 8, 2000

Mr. I. Refuse To Work
Lazy Landscapers Incorporated
0009 Lazy Drive
Baton Rouge, LA 70806

Dear Mr. Work,

During the week of January 1-8, 2000, your company was paid a substantial amount to landscape my business.  I must say that employees, as well as passers-by and I are extremely dissatisfied with your tactless job.

I am going to give you two options.  First, you can come back and redo every piece of grass that surrounds the Paper Street Soap Company.  While you do this, I want every rose petal to look as if it just bloomed.  The second option is to give the Paper Street Soap Company back the $20,000 that was given to you for your poor services.  This is a small price to pay considering I have the power to make your company crumble like Oreo’s in a child’s lunch box.

If I seem upset, I am.  But, allow me to warn you this is a mild version of my anger.  If action is not taken within 24 hours, you will hear from my attorney Mr. F. Lee Bailey.

I trust that this matter will be resolved in a timely fashion.

Sincerely,
 
 

Tyler Durden